Today I had to delicately explain the basics of a rusty trombone to my son. Some kid at his school kept saying it, and my ever-curious kid asked what it was. I didn't get specific about things, but I did let him know that it was an unusual sex act and that he should never repeat it at school. That led to a convo about shooting heroin, smoking foilies, and why marijuana grows on the highway. I believe in full disclosure (with age-appropriate limitations) and telling the truth. I don't overshare, but I am honest with my kids. They've opened a condom and fooled around with it, filled it with water, put it on a cucumber, etc. They know how to recognize drugs and drug paraphernalia, what dating should be and that's it's ok to dump people who aren't right for you, how credit cards work, the basics of car maintenance, and how to make dry ice bombs. I don't shove edgy stuff in their faces... it's already there. They know they can bring it to me for clarification, and then they can put it aside, satisfied. I don't want them to make huge mistakes that ruin their lives just because I was too uncomfortable to answer their questions properly.
I don't try to be their friend, and I don't try to be the cool mom. I do the best I can, and I raise them the best way I know how. For me, that means guiding them, educating them, shaping their values and morals, and then helping them stretch and grow into independent, self-confident, productive citizens.
What does being a good mother (or father) mean to you?
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